Posted by: Wicked Cats | March 22, 2010

It’s all uphill from here.

It’s no secret to those that know me that I’m on a few online dating sites.   And that I’ve had my share of strange experiences and meetings. Let’s face it, I’ve met a lot of weirdos.  The guy I met last Friday was certainly no different.  In his profile he seemed like a nice, normal guy.  No kids, has his own business, his own home and an adorable Shih-Tzu who he adores.  I thought, wow, I hit the jackpot!  He also wasn’t unattractive either.

We decided to meet at Chili’s, just about a mile up the road from me.  So, I decided I’d meet him around 6ish and hang with him for about an hour, using the excuse of having to babysit for a friend if I needed an out.

When I walked into the Chili’s I texted him to see if he was there, and he was.  My first impression, he was shorter than his profile had said.  Okay, no biggie.  Men sometimes stretch the truth when it comes to their height, especially if they aren’t taller than 5’6″, which this guy wasn’t.  He introduced me to two women who were his friends, and we sat at the bar.  I began to notice, first he was looking at his phone way too much.  Not just looking, but texting.  Which I thought was unbelievably rude.  But, I let it slide.

Now, let me say this one thing about myself, I am not a touchy feeling person.  Especially with someone I’ve just met.  During out previous text conversations, he would keep calling me mami, which I get is a term of endearment, and that’s okay with me, I’ve got no problem with that.  But, he also kept sending me kisses and sending me these “coupons” for a big sloppy wet kiss.  Um…’scuse me?

He kept asking me if I liked him and that I was an enigma to him.  He said he was a super affectionate guy, and that he liked to show his affection.  I said, I was affectionate too, but I had just met him, and he could not expect me to be hanging all over him from the get go.  At one point, I guess my apprehension at sitting on his lap, which it seemed he would have preferred really bothered him and he started telling me he’s never had to work so hard at getting attention from a woman as he has with me.  He also told me he could call all the women who would love nothing more than a little bit of his attention and the line would be out to the parking lot, and isn’t it just funny how life is that you always want the ones that don’t care.

Holy flaming shit torch Batman!  I just sat there thinking, this guy’s nuts!  He has self-esteem issues or he’s super insecure or something is seriously fucking dislocated in his brain.  At 7:30 I decided I’d had enough and said I had to get going.  He asked me to text him when I got home.  I got home, texted him, just so he couldn’t say I didn’t care and he worried about me blah blah blah…

With that done, I watched some TV and went to bed with the gang.   I got up early Saturday morning, and went to a boot camp I’d been invited to.  I was pretty excited about it and since I’m trying to focus on getting to a healthy and comfortable weight, I thought this would be a good thing to do to really get me started for more serious work-outs.  Word of advice, don’t eat a power bar and OJ while driving to the boot camp and do not do 50 jumping jacks with said power bar and OJ fermenting in your tummy.

Yes, I nearly passed out and I threw up on the side walk in front of the next door shop. Oy! Luckily, the owner of the gym is a wonderful lady, and she helped me through it.  After a few minutes, I felt good enough to get up, go inside, rinse my mouth out and got on the treadmill to walk it off. The rest of my workout was low key, but I have to say, I’m happy I actually finished and I felt really good after it was all done.  On the way home, I bought a pumpernickel bagel with hummus and that’s pretty much all I ate until about 2:00.   On my way home, I also texted the weirdo and asked if he wanted to have lunch on Sunday.   I wanted to sit somewhere nice and quiet and talk to him a little more, and see if maybe I’d been wrong.  Oh, and by the way, since the Chili’s was his usual hang out spot and he had so many friends there, I wanted a place where he wasn’t so safe.  That’s another thing I thought was in a bit bad taste.  To make me meet him where he knew everyone, and I knew no one.

So, Sunday came and I woke up early to rearrange the gangs litter boxes and their location.  Maks has ruined the wood litter box cabinet I had under the stairs by peeing on it’s walls and it was getting impossible to keep clean.   I decided since they had no issues with covered boxes, I bought 3.  I put two under the stairs, separated then with a bookcase, just so they weren’t so close to each other, and I replaced the box in my bathroom upstairs, since Maks had also baptized the walls there too.  I was able to take the one out of the kitchen, so it gives me a little more space in there.  It took me a little over an hour, but I got everything done, then took a shower and sat on the couch to relax.

I never heard back about lunch, so I just stayed home.  At around 5:00 pm I texted the guy and asked him how his Sunday was.  He texted me back that it was nice and relaxing.  I texted him back that I guessed he hadn’t been interested in lunch, and the nimrod told me that since I hadn’t texted him he thought I’d changed my mind.  Okay, are you fucking kidding me?

Here’s what I’m thinking.  He got my text the day before, and felt it unnecessary to text me back and say yes or no.  Then he expected me to text him in Sunday to confirm?  I can’t confirm if I don’t even know you are interested asshole.  I was starting to get the feeling he was doing this because he wanted me to chase after him, since he’d already felt like I wasn’t as interested as I should be in his head.  No dude, I’m 42 and I’m not in high school.  I want to find someone to share my life with, I’m not looking for some insecure dipshit who wants me to chase after him.

So as it stands now I’m done texting him.  If he gets in touch with me I’ll feel the situation out, but I have a feeling this is going to go nowhere.  And you know what?  I’m fine with that.  Right now, I’m focused on saving some money, and getting myself into somewhat decent shape.  If I meet someone else fine, if not, fine.

It’s raining now, but I hope it doesn’t last all day.  I’d like to go walking later when I get home, and I’m hopefully going to get the pet stroller I ordered, so I’m looking forward to having some kitty company along.

I’m not going to get discouraged…it’s all uphill from here. 🙂

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Responses

  1. Hello my friend. I got half of a reply to this posted on my phone before I realized I don’t know if I can post a long reply on my phone, LOL

    First of all, HUGE congrads on having these goals and sticking to them. I’m proud of you for being a strong woman and knowing what you want to do with your life and having the ovaries of steel (as I say, lol) to pursue said goals. You’re looking in better shape every pic I see of you, and hey not everyone has the set to do anything called boot camp. You just passed the two year mark as a vegetarian, another fantastic achievement! Independent woman making her life happen….that is you entirely.

    This guy you met sounds like a doucher and a half. Reading this all sorts of alarm bells were going off. He lied about his height. That’s a small lie, yes. But it’s also a big clue as to the type of person he is. It says that he’s aware that he’s a short man and he has a complex about it. It’s a condition I call “little man-itis”. I’ve yet to meet a man 5’6″ or shorter who doesn’t have an issue related to his height (or lack thereof). I’m stunned he brought other women to a meet up with you if the point of the meet up is to get to know YOU and not a huge gathering of women. That was just fucking rude and egotistical of him. And WHO the fuck would sit there and go on about someone not caring just because you wouldn’t submit to being groped by a total stranger??? That’s like a date rapist in training, using some pretty basic and sadly outdated psychology on a woman who I happen to know is too smart to fall for it, so in addition to acting like a groper, he must think you’re not very bright, which is fucking bullshit, because we all know you’re a super smart lady too. Calling you pet names on a first meet is completely uncool. He has a responsibility to himself and to you to make sure you’re comfortable and that the meet up is in a place you’re 100% okay with and it’s certainly not in keeping with that mentality to bring other women and babble endlessly about himself and the bitches and hoes he COULD have lined up around the building since you aren’t “caring” about him so you’ll pay more attention to him and compromise your physical and psychological comfort to feel him up and sit on his lap (who the FUCK does THAT on a first meet??) and basically worship at the altar of He Who Must Be Made To Feel Worthy Because He’s Got a Complex About Being Short.

    The txt thing sounds so annoying teenager. I don’t think he wanted to meet you somewhere where he has to be himself, because he’s obviously not comfortable with himself.

    PLEASE do NOT get discouraged!! I really think you’re doing well, I think it’s great that you’re getting out and meeting guys!! I have every faith that you WILL find someone worthy of your intelligence, your beauty, sense of humor, your love for animalkind, and everything else about you that makes up the inherently wonderful Wonder Woman package known to her friends as Nuria. 😉 *hugs*

    • Thank you so much for that wonderful comment. I do get discouraged sometimes, but I get over it and move on. I have to say, by the end of my time with this guy, I just had a really odd feeling. Like there was just something off about this guy, but I wasn’t exactly sure what. It doesn’t matter what because I highly doubt I’ll see him again. I’m not comfortable with someone wanting so much affection and contact from someone they just met!

      It’s having friends like you, that keep me going. You guys are such a wonderful support system for me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.

  2. Don’t be discouraged! You’re a woman who needs a man that enjoys being with you because you’re you and who respects the kitties and your lifestyle choices and commitments. He needs to understand you have a life and it doesn’t have to revolve around him. You have needs, you have goals and if he can’t respect that he needs to go find a doormat because you aren’t one.

    This isn’t a tall order at all, there are just so few men who aren’t cockroaches and who don’t have personal hang-ups be it their height, cock size or lack of attention from their mother when they were children or growing up with a poor male role model so they see women as objects and potential notches on their bed posts. You’ll find the right guy, that or he’ll find you and he’ll be what you need and you’ll be happy together.

    YOU are what keeps you going. Those of us who are lucky enough to have you call us friend are your cheering section for what you already know about yourself.

    On a side note about this guy, that wanting physical contact from a person you just met bit is sexual harassment trying to disguise itself as a cool guy who’s wanted by a lot of women. I bet it freaked him the hell out to find a woman who’s not a bottom-feeder willing to settle for his sorry ass! LMAO I can’t believe there are still guys in the world who act like that. It’s 2010, penis-toters, not 1910, right? I’m sure you not texting him (which sadly, seems to be affecting his ability to function in reality) will ensure he goes away quietly. I’m voting lose his number and leave him to his much-needed groping audience of women who may need to pick up a bit of self-esteem themselves when they grocery shop next. Bless their hearts, I can’t imagine what the appeal of such an asshole would be. Reminds me of my sister’s ex-boyfriends from high school. Gag.

  3. Girl, I think I’m going to add some of what you wrote on my dating site profile! Seriously, I’ve tried to be as upfront and specific as I could, without sounding like some hard assed bitch, but apparently the message isn’t getting across.

    You know, this guy actually called me conservative? LOLOLOLOL, I don’t know how I kept my composure and didn’t outright laugh in his face! I told him I was far from conservative, but that I just prefer to get to know someone before I let myself loose.

    I did ask him at one point if he’d ever been married and he told me no, but that he was engaged once. I didn’t ask him what happened, I doubt I would have gotten an honest answer, but I suspect it had to do with his insecurities and perhaps control issue, which I also noted a bit of. I think he wanted a woman who was fawning all over him so he could have full control of her.

    Sorry, lol, my cats are the only ones I let control me.


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