Posted by: Wicked Cats | March 23, 2010

You’re confused? Really?

I received a phone call from one of my online coffee dates.  I had met this guy a good month ago.  We had coffee, nice conversation and decided we’d have dinner.   When I called him the following week to make plans, he had to cancel with me because he had to have a surgical procedure.  I spoke with him that following Sunday and we had a nice conversation and left it with he would call me in a few days.  I didn’t hear from him for about 2 weeks.  He then called me last week and left me a message about him being in training or something and he just wanted me to know why he hadn’t called.  I decided to call him back and got his voice mail, then left him a message.

Okay, now a week later he just calls me. We talked for a little bit, he asked me if I’d been on any dates, and I said no.  Not his business if I had or not really.  He asked me how I have been, then told me he’s still recovering and thinks the doctor messed up his procedure.  I then asked him if he was still interested in dinner.  This is where things went downhill.

He said he wasn’t sure, that there were things he needed to “work” out.  Um, yeah.  I say, “what things?” He told me he wasn’t ready to talk about it.  Then I asked him what it was.  I said he’s either having issues with his surgery, or is it a girlfriend he still has!

He comes clean.  Tells me he’s having issues with his ex-gf.  Says that she was the one taking care of him after his surgery and that’s why he hadn’t been able to call me for so long.  I asked him if he is still with her.  His answer was “I don’t know.”

How the fuck could you not know?

He said he just wanted to be honest with me.  He is really interested in me, I fascinate him, but he’s confused about where he is at with his ex.  Oh, here’s the kicker, he asks me where that leaves me and him.

“Well, Chuck, there is no me and you.  We just met, had coffee, I haven’t really had an opportunity to spend much time with you.  Do you want to get back with your ex?”

He says he may.  My answer?

“You need to decide what you want to do.  I’m not a consolation prize and I’m not second choice.  Why did you break up on the first place?”

They fought about everything. His watching sports, hanging out with his buddies, doing Ju-jitzu.  They fought so much, he just fell out of love with her, oh and he was no longer sexually attracted to her.  But, he’s thinking of going back with her.  Hmm

Now, here’s where my gag reflex started to kick in.  I had told him, that if he was going to be with someone, there had to be at least some sexual attraction.  Sex isn’t everything, but a relationship is hard enough, and when you have to have sex with someone you aren’t attracted to, it’s really difficult to sustain.

He then decides to ask me how long had it been since I’ve been with someone.  I was now curious and wanted to see where his line of questioning would lead to.  I’m funny like that.

I told him a couple of years, I lied, it’s been longer.  He asked me if I “touched myself” or “had dreams.”  I told him no.  Not completely true, but I wanted to gauge his reaction.  He then proceeded to offer his services.  Telling me that if I wanted, he could come over and really make me happy.  If he only knew nothing would make me happier than throttling him within an inch of his life.

After apologizing for his forwardness, I told him that he has obviously misunderstood my motivation for being on an online site.  I’m looking for someone to have a relationship with, I’m not just looking for sex.  Sex for me is secondary, because when you do have a relationship with someone, there comes a point where the sex dies down and you have to have something in common or an understanding with the person in order for you to stay together.

He offered to send me a photo of himself and I declined.  Then he said he needed to get back to work, and that I probably didn’t want to talk to him again.   Very astute of him.  Of course, I just said, “No, I’m fine.  Just let me know what you finally decide.”

My cell phone has this really interesting feature.  It’s called “Reject number”  You put someone’s number and you don’t even hear the phone ring.  It goes automatically to voice mail.  Yeah, I think Chuck will be the newest member of my reject list.

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